I really love this idea. Great production based on the suggestions given. My ONLY gripe would be the mix, specifically in the beginning. There's like a very annoying 'sub bass'y sound that really stands out and just hurts my ears to listen to. My best guess is that it's coming from the palm muting part, that maybe that low end is up too high or something. If you scooped that low end out of the mix to prevent that wobbly bassy effect, man, I would jam to this song so hard. Great writing all around though.
Side note: Bring those drums up in the mix a bit man! They could cut through so much more that it would bring this to a whole new level!